Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
