How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
