This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
