The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
