you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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