yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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