He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
