can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
