Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
