at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
