this beer tastes like vomit already
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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