You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize