Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
