she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
