it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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