Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
