have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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