Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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