We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
