we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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