Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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