How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
