This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
