just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
