All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
