I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
