I will die if light touches me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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