I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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