well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
