I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
