Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
