it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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