Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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