she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
