your parents love me but you hate me
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
