If i come over, it means nothing
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
