Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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