my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just high enough for therapy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
