I hope mine doesn't look like that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
