So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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