so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
