Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
