We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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