hell yes lets make some ravioli
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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