There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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