just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
