On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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