theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
