what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
