garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
