he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
drinking out of a sandbucket again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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