If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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