Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
