if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
