im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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