Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize