It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
