where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
