What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize