Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
