Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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