Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
