school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
